Saturnalia
When Elon Musk became president of Mars, I migrated to Saturn. At first, I wanted to go to Venus, but the jogging route on the Rings sounded too promising. Initially, it was hard to get accepted by the Saturnians in my village, but after joining the volunteer fire brigade, I became a valued member of the community. The food is also very tasty, very spicy and mostly vegetarian. I have not yet learned the language here, so I can not tell you the names of the dishes. I am communicating in Swedish, which is the second official language after Saturnese. I am living now a far better live than before. My favourite part of the day is seeing Earth rise on my morning jogging round on the Outer Ring.
The bath
Today, when I went into the bathroom to take a bath, I found a mermaid in my bathtub. She was about half my age and had long brown hair, completely covering her upper body, so everything I am telling you is SFW. From her waist down, she had a fish tail, which is no surprise, since she was a mermaid. She smiled at me whimsically. After all, the situation was embarrasing for both of us.
“How
did you get in here?”, I finally asked, hopefully not too harsh. “Your
caretaker let me in” she answered. “She said you wouldn’t mind since you
have a soft heart for refugees and are also an expert on folklore and
mythology.” “Yes, that’s true. But right now, I want to take a bath.”
“No problem. I don’t mind you joining me.” Remembering the reputation
mermaids have in some stories, I denied, saying: “I prefer my bath with
foam and I don’t think that would be good for your scales. But can’t you
get out for a moment? Doesn’t your tail turn to legs when you’re out of
the water?” “That’s what you and Andersen think!”So I just brushed my teeth and went to the bedroom. I wasn’t even surprised anymore when I found a dragon sleeping in my bed.
The Tattoo
A longhaired man went into a tattoo parlour. Actually, he wasn’t really the tattoo type, But he wanted to try something daring. He thought that the shoulder would be a good place. Unsure which motive to choose, he skipped through the suggestions folder. At first, he opted for a screaming Frank Zappa, the Chunga’s Revenge cover picture. But then, he found this lovely portrait of a beautiful woman, drawn in a 1950ies style, but with a 2022-vibe. The tattooing was a bit painful, but afterwards, he thought, that it really was worth it. After all, he now would never be lonely in his life again.